10 Uses for Shellac

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Been listening to the discography of Shellac nonstop for three days now. Found a site online with the above picture and a list of 10 uses for Shellac. I don’t need to restore old hardware, nor do I own any old hardware, so I made my own list of uses. Try it, it might save your day.

1. Brings you closer to god

Prayer to God (1000 Hurts)

To the one true God above
Here is my prayer
Not the first you’ve heard, but the first I wrote
Not the first, but the others were a long time ago
There are two people here, and I want you to kill them

Her, she can go quietly, by disease or a blow
To the base of her neck
Where her necklaces close
Where her garments come together
Where I used to lay my face
That’s where you oughta kill her
In that particular place
Him, just fucking kill him, I don’t care if it hurts

Yes I do, I want it to,
Fucking kill him but first
Make him cry like a woman
No particular woman
Let him hold out hope that
Someone or other might come…
Then fucking kill him
Fucking kill him
Kill him already, kill him
Fucking kill him, fucking kill him
Kill him already, kill him
Fucking kill him, fucking kill him
Kill him already, kill him
Just fucking kill him!
Fucking kill him
Fucking kill him already, kill him
Ah Fucking kill him, fucking kill him…

Kill him already, kill him,
Kill him already
Kill him already
Kill him already
Kill him
Amen

2. Good for Initiating Fights

The Watch Song (1000 Hurts)

Hey man, I wanna have a fight with you
Regardless of my feelings on the subject
It appears that I am going to
Forget about the fight
Forget about it
I’ve paid more than anyone would advise for this watch
And so far I am disappointed in it
It beeps at me at noon, seven and five
And I can not turn off the piece of shit
Hey man, hey!
Hey man, I wanna have a fight with you
From the way that you behave it is clear to me
You would like to have one, too
Let’s stop dancing
*
And do what we both came here to do
Hey man, hey!
Hey
Hey man
Hey man, hey!
Hey
Hey Man
I wanna have a fight with you
From the way that you behave it is clear to me

You would like to have one, too

3. Predict the Future


4. Study Guide for Geology Class

Song of the Minerals (at Action Park)

Nickeline
Halite
Cinnabar
Dolomide
Hornblende
Willemite
Feldspar
Galena

5. Style Hair

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6. Turns past guitarists, current engineers into current guitarists occasionallyShellac-SteveAlbini

7. Cures Mental Illness

Steve Albini (Wesley Willis)

the next song is called steve albini
steve albini
you are my best friend
you are my rock and roller
you are my engineer
you can really rock into rush hour
steve albini (chorus)
you are a nice man
you saved for the bear shellac
you are my rock and roll musician
you can really whoop it up while whooping a horse’s ass keeper on the right track
steve albini
steve albini
steve albini
steve albini
you engineered the debut record for nirvana
you are the miracle mind’s touch
you are my favorite man with the midas touch
you are on my side with the midas touch
steve albini (chorus)
rock over london; rock home chicago
holland furniture–you will like our style

8. Turns Words Backwards

Canada (Terraform)

We oughta name a song after you
Call it “Canada”
Imagine a country so blue
Backwards it’s adanaC

9. If ingested, can cause self hatred in songs

Song Against Itself (1000 Hurts)

This is the song against itself
It’s of two minds of its own
The discussion brought to logical conclusion
It follows through
But is not true
Who dares write a song against itself
Why do you act like you don’t know
What in the world I’m talking about?
It follows through
You have no clue
(I’ve already had it up with you)
(I’ve already had it up with you)
(I’ve already had it up with you)
(I’ve already had it up with you)
(I’ve already had it up with you)

10. Turns guitarists and bassists into drummers

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– ADAM

One thought on “10 Uses for Shellac

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