Let’s Get Depressed!

Let me start off with a story:

When I was 9 I was walking to my grandmothers house with my mom. She doesn’t live very far, just one town over: go down a hill, right, right, up a hill, left, STOP, there. On one of the side streets, about 1/4 of the way down the block, I saw a gold bracelet. Just sitting there. It was impossible to miss, it was shining like the Ark in Raiders. I went over, picked it up, and brought it with me. It’s been sitting in a drawer ever since.

My neighbors are moving and are selling everything, including jewelry, so they told my mom that if she had anything she wanted to sell to come over. I gave her the bracelet to hock; it was in pretty shitty condition anyway and I was hoping for a nice $10 profit after 16 (holy fuck) years.

While walking around All Points West: Day 2, Johnny Tigs Solo Adventure into the Realm of the Damned I gave my mom a call. She told me she was able to sell the bracelet for 145 bucks.

So I bought a $35 Radiohead shirt.

Yes I am wearing it now.

Now for my review of All Points West: Day 2

I purchased one of the best cups of lemonade I have ever had from the lemonade cart near the Blue Comet stage, in between the VIP entrance and the Stage. Two guys and one woman, not much older than myself, were working behind the cart. The guys were making the drinks and the woman was taking money. The lemonade consisted of Ice, Sugar, Water and fresh squeezed lemons, big surprise right? There was about 90% ice in the cup, a very small amount of sugar, 2 squeezed lemons and just enough water so that when you tried to drink it, you had to tip it, but not so much that the ice would fall all over you. Before I tried it I was annoyed at the $4 price tag, but it really brought the day together and 10% of that $4 goes to helping people from a new jersey asylum find a home.

After spending far too much on a shirt made from recycled plastic bottles I decided I needed another lemonade. This stand was in between the Big merch tent, and the Queen of the Valley stage. I should have known something was going to go wrong since they did not give any of their $4 to help jersey asylumites. There was a younger kid working behind the cart, a woman who was overseeing what he was doing, and a woman working the hotdog cart next to them who seemed to be friends with them all. The recipe was essentially the same, but only one squeezed lemon was used, and it was 90% water instead of ice. I was hoping for this cup of lemonade to rejuvenate me again, to pat me on the back and say, “It’s OK, a lot of people bought shirts for that much, and payed 50 bucks extra for a VIP ticket that did absolutely fucking nothing. It’ll be OK, I promise.” Instead it was like someone spitting in my face…after they just ate a lemon, a single lemon.

Before posting the Radiohead show, which I will do soon, I want to edit it some and issue a warning: it is a terrible recording. The sound ranged from awful to godawful for a while. The speakers sounded like they were fading in and out at times, as if there was only enough power to run one side of the stages speakers and each side was fighting for it constantly. I also started in a bad space, moved around A LOT, there is a lot of talking, I sat down during one song. All of this can be summed up by saying Adam wasn’t there, so I was lazy about it all. People smoking, bumming hits, cursing, vomiting, Manny Ramirez sightings and much more when I upload it later. Some of the songs came out well, I’m assuming, but this boot is more about the colorful people around me throughout the show than the show itself. But I have to do some homework first. Before you start ripping me for that, remember the immortal words of Marge Simpson: “Bart, don’t make fun of grad students. They’ve just made a terrible life choice.”