Today, we present you a lesson in language.
I’ve decided to go back and translate each of Boris’ tweets via Google Translator, with me translating the translation, based on my own idea of what their idea is.
I’ve been following @Borisheavyrocks on Twitter. Almost all of the band’s tweets are in Japanese and I have no idea what they are saying. But I love getting them. Then earlier today McShane google translated one of the tweets, which he also followed without knowing what the fuck they were saying.
Here’s what Boris said this morning:
“The pins are like us you”
Google translator is pretty much a useless piece of trash for Japanese translation, but that makes it even better. It’s like poetry. And it’s not all that far off from Boris’ lyrics. Example (From BUZZ-IN off of Smile):
BUZZ-IN, he wears a purple bikini, and he has two sticks sticking out
of it, on his right and left
Here Comes a Big Mosh!
“OMG, the music hasn’t started yet!”
Can’t resist this vibration
Saw Boris at Irving Plaza last night and they slaughtered, though some of the new songs off Attention Please I thought were a little weak, not how they were played but just me realizing some of em aren’t that great. They slipped into a few bars of the Melvins’ “Boris,” their namesake and, to an extent their entire soundsake.
*This was done with the utmost respect for the Japanese people and their beautiful, beautiful metal.
Here it goes. A smattering of theirposts, mostly in reverse chronological order beginning at 5:30 p.m. on Oct. 28, 2011.
Google: Smell of smoke built venue, quite literally smoky topic, but to feel like a salmonToba.
My translation: This venue tonight in Philly is so smoky, I feel like I’m swimming through it like a salmon.
Google: In the dressing room of Mario Kart on Wii.
My translation: Self explanatory: Playing MarioKart backstage. (Though since Wii was in their original, that was pretty self explanatory from the original.)
Google: Sorenishitemo cold mess!
My translation: (Using Japanese dictionary as well) Nevertheless a cold mess!
Google: Today’s venue, nice decor could do recently. For Otaru Glass House Woody-like, or shop in the Red Brick (laughs) atmosphere.
My translation: Union Transfer in Philly is very lovely. Reminds me of a glass house from Otaru where I laughed this one time.
Google: I also want to mask out the nose and throat mucous membrane protection, I’mYappari seems strange that Koch.
My translation: I have a bad cold.
I have now not only have a lip balm, but also much more Ritakuritai face
My translation: I have a cold sore, and also a black eye.
Google: Ending sound check. Dinner!
My translation: Ending sound check. Dinner!
Google: Ampeg has finally healed, go back … once you get used to GK.
My translation: My Ampeg amp is finally fixed, which is great, but I got used to using this GK.
Google: The old theater, high ceilings pleasant reverb.
My translation: Ah, Irving Plaza, thou ceilings are high and mine reverb is pleasant here.
Google: Come Hell is the beginning of handwashing.
I don’t want to touch that one. It’s beautiful.
Google: Brooklyn is a delicious variety of shops if there is trouble.
Same thing. It’d be like slapping the Mona Lisa in the face. With a paint brush.
Live so muddy, but the socks I Wash beans and a small daily, or rather feet sweat and oil leg (aka Ashippura) is unusual stubbornness.
I can’t translate these. They are too good to crack jokes at. If you’ve learned anything from this exercise, it’s to do one thing: live so muddy.
(Thanks McShane for the photo from last year’s Boris show)