Most Contentious Album of the Year: Tenacious D – Rize of the Fenix

Tenacious D - Rize of the Fenix album cover

A conversation with myself:

“I’m not totally sure why we’re having this conversation.”

“Me either.”

“I mean we had waited 6 years for a new D album and they delivered.”

“I agree with both of those statements.”

“Oh I see, you’re conflicted.”

“We’re conflicted.”

“Look, whatever. This has been the album I’ve been waiting for. I was as excited as I could have been, I’ve listened to it more than just about any other album to come out this year”

“Yeah I know, I’ve been there every time and I kept my mouth shut for so long.”

“This is just classic D, the humor is there, the songs are solid…”

“The opening track is good, I’ll give you that much. But I don’t know about the rest of the album.”

“Are you kidding? From start to finish there isn’t a track on the album I don’t want to listen to.”

“Have you asked yourself why?”

“What are you getting at? That I want it to be better than it really is so I’m just projecting my own insecurities about life in general onto a Tenacious D album because I for some reason cannot separate my personal self from the album? That I feel in some way that if the album is a failure then so is my commitment to the band and there for the better part of my seemingly adult life?”

“Wow, that’s a bit much. Have you been facebook stalking your ex again?”

“Shut up.”

“Well, to answer all of your questions, no, I wasn’t getting at that. Part of it sure, but that went a bit deeper and darker than I was imagining. Let’s just deal with the album and not your precariousness and nepotism.”

“Fine, I think that this album is incredible, start to finish.”

Low Hanging Fruit?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s fucking stupid. The whole album is. The first album was a folk band trying to be the metal band they actually wanted to be. The second album was that dreaming coming into formation. This is a step back. This is them creating some bullshit alt rock album, completely changing everything.”

“What? Do you want them to stay stagnant? Just do the same thing over and over again?”

“No, that’s not it, it just feels like this album was put out to appease the fans. Not to bring everything to a new level. It was overly goofy, which the first album wasn’t. Even within the songs on the first album there were skits, there were skits within skits, it was about the egos of these two nothings and watching that all take place. See what they wanted to be, but always keeping in the back of your head that these two guys are actually kind of losers. This album, they fucking mention it throughout, it IS hollywood. It’s glamoured and shit.”

“Yeah and they talk about tha…”

“They talk about it, sure, but they’re fucking proud of it. This isn’t them poking fun at the idea about it, which is what they should fucking do. And just mentioning that you’re doing something you’re doing doesn’t mean you get a pass for it.”

“Ohhh so now YOU know better than they do what they should have made. You couldn’t even keep your own bands together and you’re going to dictate what a group who has now released three albums should do?”

“I’m not saying I know what’s best, all I know is that this album could have been something greater. They gave the audience what they wanted instead of dictating what we should want. POD was them doing what they wanted, the first album was them doing what they wanted. Deth Starr is fucking dumb as shit, Roadie is them just being too cocky without the threat of them just being morons, the ballad… I don’t even know what to make of it.”

“First off Deth Starr is fucking awesome. It’s a ridiculous epic that’s in line with City Hall so I don’t know what you’re problem is. Senorita is totally different from everything else that they’ve done. It has a flavor to it that no other D song has. Roadie is dumb as shit. I’ll give you that. What about the skits? They’re hysterical. Sure I would have liked more of them, and that’s a GOOD thing, to be left wanting more.”

“Only two skits, which is a huge disappointment, but they both were pretty good. Even the Classical Teacher skit, which was really awkward to listen to the first few times but has become hysterical with each subsequent listen.”

“Alright, well at least we agree on something. ”

“They Fucked Our Asses is a waste of space.”

“No way! It has a bad ass ending to it and the beginning is funny. I mean, maybe a bit severe…”

“So is To be The Best.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Rock is dead is fucking dumb.”

“NOPE! Not getting on board with you there. It’s exactly what it needs to be, less than 2 minutes long, just speed demon high-octane acoustic guitar, ridiculous and self mocking. Not of just them but of everything, rock music in general, music criticism, the whole process of creating. It’s fucking great. It’s a scathing love song. You’re wrong on this one. What about 39?”

“Just stupid character work and a dumb song. Tenacious D does character work as fucking demons and satan, not a pathetic old man. There is very little ‘metal’ about this album, and that’s what they have always been to me.”

“You’re just reading too much into everything and had too high of expectations about something you really had no clues about. It’s funny, it has a lot of energy, and it’s not like the censored themselves or anything that could cause you to think it was tampered with in some creative way. This is The D.”

“Before you started preparing for all of this end of the year stuff, when was the last time you listened to the album?”

“Shut up.”

2 thoughts on “Most Contentious Album of the Year: Tenacious D – Rize of the Fenix

  1. Great review! I have a strange feeling that maybe this was you having an argument with an imaginary Adam in your head and Adam is the one that doesn’t really like it at all.

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